Thursday, November 24, 2011

Journal 93 Answers Part One

Wow. So far, with three (I know, overwhelming) amazingly original responses to my 'survey' I feel a little intimidated to even begin to fill this in! Thank you so far to L., J., and A. I will talk more about your answers in detail in just a little bit.
Here are the first of my own answers.....


1) Who/what inspires you most in life?
The people who don't drink the kool-aid. I'm not kidding. Sometimes it's the hardest thing to do. As Carole Radziwill wrote in her amazing memoir "What Remains", the people who are stubborn, passionate, and genuinely original. People writing books. People overcoming incredible obstacles in everyday life and people who keep going. What could be more inspirational than that?

2) Where do you get your unique style and outlook on life?
I found the perception of 'style' here interesting--we do, maybe as women, go right
to clothing when someone talks about style. But style can be many things. For me it's my writing style. For instance--I'm keeping it a bit light in recent posts. But my real style is to dig underneath the surface, to the places where I am most afraid, and scatter the earth. Outlook on life is tougher. I like to model my outlook on people who succeed in the face of the odds--which really, is what all human beings do. I can't believe what people can live through and keep on going. That frames my outlook quite a bit when I would rather just be negative and depressed sometimes. Because my hard-wired outlook on life is one of pessimism, I have to constantly work to clear the clouds.

3) What's your top thing that contributes to you 'keepin' it real?'
I quote my dear friend A., with this amazing concept--the 'congratulations your life now looks just like everyone else's'. THAT phrase keeps me real. No vanilla ice cream keeps me real. Holding onto my soul in world obsessed with values that I don't necessarily feel to be a priority keeps me real.

4) What is your most treasured memory? (you can add a couple).
I'm going to come back to this one. Running in Central Park immediately springs to mind. I know. It was a fleeting forty minutes of my life, but it is a memory I return to again and again in my mind.
Contact with the spirit world--all those memories remain imprinted on me, as I think they are supposed to. But this question begs its own post.

5) What is your "go to" outfit? I loved all the responses to this one so far. Everyone has at least one 'uniform' that they love to wear, that they feel good in. Mine is a variation of a tracksuit, I'm sorry to say. Hey, I'm an athlete, I like to be comfortable, and I'm over alot of the fashion-obsessed-comparison-thinking I endured in my 20s.

6) Dream man? Real or celeb. Real. I'm marrying him (oh sorry--ELOPING with him) in the very near future.

7) What are you reading right now? Joan Didion, and more Joan Didion. I'm doing what her and John Dunne used to do with novels: studying technique to 'get it right' and see how it works.

8) What is your guilty pleasure (it can be tv, it can be chocolate, what have you).
Itunes, my ipod, listening to any type of music I please.
Chardonnay.
Drinking chardonnay while listening to my ipod play.
Running. (it is. it's a treat. when I can't run, I panic)

9) What has been your biggest challenge?
Again, I'll come back to this one. It pretty well needs it's own post.
Right now I'm working on tolerance. And compassion. And understanding. And unselfishness.

10) What age have you loved the most/are looking forward to the most and Why?
I'm pretty sure I haven't lived it yet. Almost positive. I know it sounds crazy but 40 seems alluring to me in a strange way. Like I'm finally going to lie under the stars and start to f*cking "get it". And I'll stop being so crazy-selfish and just 'be'. And not always 'want'. Although, 'wanting' is part of being human, as I once read (thank you Abigail Thomas).

More in a bit.

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